Driving home from dinner with my girlfriend I am asked the question no man wants to hear, “Babe can I ask you a favor?”
“I want you to download this app.”
As far as favors for your partner go, downloading an app is a pretty easy one. This ease and effortlessness would only continue with my exploration of the Jive by We-Vibe.
The We-Connect app links via Bluetooth to control a hands-free wearable toy, meaning you can control it from the bedroom, or from the other side of the world. Whoever controls the app governs the speed, intensity and pattern of the vibrations, giving you ultimate control over your partner’s pleasure. With a simple slide, up or down, you affect the strength of the vibration. A swipe to the left or right varies the rhythm. This combination means that your partner won’t know what’s coming next, they’ll just be coming… next? Bad joke but seriously this thing works.
The best part though? This is the easiest time you’ll ever have satisfying another human being with the least effort imaginable, and as a bloke, that is what I’m all about.
My girlfriend texts me as she’s about to head into the shower back at her place. She wants me to get on the We-Connect app and have some fun. I start slow, using the smallest wavelength possible and then slowly increase the speed. Through the app’s chat function, she tells me she’s writhing in pleasure inside the shower. I can tease her by lowering the intensity, then ramp it up with the flick of a wrist. The sense of control is tantalizing as I make her squirm from suburbs away. This is what God must feel like, I think to myself as I am told I have just given someone the best orgasm of their life without touching them.
The app’s photo and video sharing capabilities also come in handy for some naughty fun. Especially if you’re both in the mood and out of town. Alternatively, if you’re busy, you can just watch a movie, be lazy, and give your girlfriend the best time of her life.
Have I become redundant as a lover? Possibly. Was Sicario a great movie that I was able to enjoy whilst pleasuring my girlfriend. Yes. The future is now people, and the future is Jive.
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