Sexual pleasure plays a big part in our lives and relationships. It can change our mood, help us fall in love with others, ourselves, and inspire a good dinner party story. For something that plays such a large role in our adult lives, as teenagers we often aren’t prepared with adequate knowledge for our sexual careers.
The first topic worth exploring in adult sex education is the Pudenal Nerve. Weird, I know, we’re starting with a biology class. But it’ll make sense soon, I promise.
The Pudenal Nerve is the main sensory nerve that processes sensation in human sexual organs. This means sensations felt from the clitoris, uterus, penis, testicles, prostate, sphincters, perineum, anus, cervix and labia are all due to this wonderful nerve.
The nerve stems from the spinal cord, and branches throughout the pelvis. In males, the nerve branches in a uniform manner, clustering in sensitive areas like the tip of the penis, around the prostate and testicles. This means that men can be stimulated in a general way, and still reach climax.
Women are different. If you’ve spoken to friends, or had the pleasure of being with a woman, you may have noticed that each woman has different preferences on how they prefer to be stimulated. This is entirely based on how each woman’s Pudenal Nerve has clustered in different areas. Some women experience stronger orgasms from their clitoris, while others experience stronger sensations from deep penetration reaching their cervix.
The clustering of each nerve essentially provides a biological explanation for differing orgasm styles. Unlike men, who can generally all be stimulated in the same areas and reach climax, some women can orgasm from anal stimulation alone, while others require a mix of clitoral and vaginal stimulation. These are known as orgasm styles, and it should not be assumed that any two women have the same intensity of sensation from the same areas. This is often where the common misconception that women can orgasm from vaginal penetration alone comes from. In fact, the most common form of stimulation women prefer is the combination of clitoral and vaginal stimulation.
Ironically, the word Pudenal comes from the Latin phrase “to be ashamed of”. Often sexual pleasure is perceived this way - with shame, embarrassment, and anxiety. Adult sex education helps de-bunk stigmas, and empower those who are interested in shaking conservative beliefs surrounding sexual pleasure. The importance of understanding your biology is understanding why things can stop working. For example, damage to this nerve can affect sexual functioning.
Whether you’re exploring sexual pleasure solo, or partnered, no matter how you identify, or what experience you have, you can never get enough sexual education. But beyond knowledge and reading, your true sexual education begins with yourself when you start touching your own body. We speak about orgasm styles, but do you know yours? It’s perfectly fine if you don’t, in fact another misconception is that you’ll discover orgasm through partnered sex, but this is often not the case. Most people who successfully orgasm can do it because they practiced by themselves first.
Porte-à-Vie offer a range of toys to help you explore what might be your preferred orgasm style.
Set aside a whole day, pick a Saturday this month for example, and plan to explore your body. Use your hands, and toys to get to know your physical self. This activity doesn’t need to be goal oriented by aiming to achieve orgasms. It’s more about education, and what feels good for you. Explore pace, pressure, rhythm and how taking a break affects the intensity of your orgasm. This is sex therapist assigned homework, the best homework you’ll ever get.