The age-old question: What do men really want? In the bedroom that is
Current status: Dating.
Currently into: Translating penis talk.
It’s a question I’ve been asking myself a lot lately. When I was younger I eagerly ripped open many a sealed section, scouting for information that could help my inexperienced hands become hands that made men moan.
Unfortunately I found the information between these pages terribly underwhelming and as such I’ve committed myself to years of field research. You know what they say, practice makes perfect.
I’d like to think I’ve garnered a fair amount of knowledge in this time. But as I don’t have a penis and I prefer facts to speculation, I’ve gone straight to the source and asked a few of my male friends that little yet very big question that all women are trying to figure out.
What do men want?
These two words were unsurprisingly the typical first answer, quickly followed by a cheeky smile and “No, no, no; I can do better then that”.
While I admit all men are different and several disclaimers were raised during my research, there were some very clear overarching messages.
So from me to you, here it is. The new, new testament:
You are not a marine invertebrate. You are not clinging to a rock so you don’t get washed away into the ocean. You are a living, breathing human and you have full use of all your limbs. You should use them.
You don’t need bullshit like fancy moves or techniques; it's about learning to move with someone new. Work out what you like and show him how you like it. This doesn’t mean moaning like a cow giving birth or grunting like you’re playing in the Australian Open finals. Faking it doesn’t help anyone, either. Just let the noises come naturally, and if you like what he’s doing tell him.
Men want their partner to have as much input into the act as they do. Be decisive in the bedroom (this advise also applies to life in general). Unless you are in a Dom/Sub relationship your man is probably sick of always taking the lead. On that note, you don’t need to pull on your latex boots or dig out the paddle board- just yet. It’s not always about dominating- it’s about participating.
If you’re not into it he can probably tell. Don’t lie there waiting for it to end, that’s not fun for you or him. Change position, focus on kissing or if it’s just not working stop and try again later. He’ll understand.
It’s been said before but I’ll say it again- no matter what size you are, how many chocolate Wheaton’s you have eaten or how bad the lighting is, men want to see you naked. They love your body and they want you to love your body, too. Diving under the covers in your trackies and a baggy jumper is not a massive turn on. Who knew? Not letting him grab your butt because you didn’t do any squats that day- not a turn on. Being confident enough to stand in front of him naked and maintain eye contact- big turn on.
Make sex a priority. If he’s in the shower join him. I don’t care if you’ve just washed your hair- get it wet. You can always wash it again. If you wake up feeling frisky have a quicky. Be five minutes late to work, your boss probably won’t notice. And if they do just say you spilt something on your shirt. Just like you want to be ravished, your man wants to feel like he’s wanted all the time.
So that’s it.
Now to my personal piece of advice: talk to your own man about what he likes. Who knows what you’ll discover, and chances are his wants are probably something very simple.
One of my friends is an excellent example of this. ‘Patrick’s’ only fantasy is to come home to his girl naked in bed, waiting for him. I find this very sweet, my fantasies are much more elaborate…but maybe it’s just a reflection of how easy men are to please.
Ruby Jones xx
Interested in what else Ruby has been up to? Check out her erotic dating diaries here.
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